ANNOUNCER & VIBRAPHONE:

Teeeeeeeeeee Peeeeeeeeeeeee Ceeeeeeeee

Bimmmmmmmmmm Bammmmmmmmmmmm Bommmmmmmm

THIS IS … THE POETRY CHANNEL….  ALL RHYME, ALL THE TIME

World Financial Poetry, Episode 3: Financial Poetry from The Islands

AUTHORITATIVE HOST, VOICEOVER:

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to The Poetry Channel’s [drumroll] “World Financial Poetry”. This is Don LaFontaine, your host. I may be gone, but I’m not forgotten.

Today’s episode and podcast will feature famous financial poems from the island countries of Ireland and Japan. Today’s program is brought to you by BERPO [tm] – “It’s sold in a can with a pull top ring.”

Let’s start our round-the-world adventure with a poem from the Emerald Isle, in a form that was first used by Saint Thomas Aquinas in the 13^th Century – [drumroll] The LIMERICK:

 THE HAMMER

The Hammer came East from The Hills,

Bearing plans to cure market ills,

Said he, earnest-ly,

Give seven-tenths of a trillion to me,

And I’d prefer it in untraceable bills.

STUDIO AUDIENCE:  [General applause. Some whoops.]

AUTHORITATIVE HOST, VOICEOVER:

Thank you all, you are much too kind. Before we turn our attention to the Land of the Rising Sun, please listen to this important announcement.

 

COMMERCIAL CELEBRITY ANNOUNCER:

HELLO! This … IS THE HAMMER. I may not drink much, but when I do, I drink BERPO [tm]!

BERPO! BERPO is sold in a can with a pull top ring, and tastes grrreat wet! BERPO – tastes grrreat wet!

YOU SHOULD DRINK BERPO TOO! BUY BERPO! IT’S SOLD IN A CAN WITH A PULL TOP RING!

AUTHORITATIVE HOST, VOICEOVER:

Welcome back. We will now wrap our ears around a poem from the distant and mysterious East, across the great Pacific Ocean.

Matsuo Basho was the most famous poet of the Japanese Edo period, and as a child in the early 1650’s he helped create the wonder and simplicity of what we now call … [drumroll] … The HAIKU!

STUDIO AUDIENCE:  [Rhythmic applause… gradually dies down]

AUTHORITATIVE HOST, VOICEOVER:

 THE HAMMER

If you give billions

To Hammer, no strings, meekly

That day will be rued [*]

 

STUDIO AUDIENCE: [Rambunctious applause. Sounds of cheering and hoots.]

AUTHORITATIVE HOST, VOICEOVER:

Thank you all again. I’m afraid that’s all the time that we have today, but I hope that YOU will be able to join us AGAIN for our next episode of [drumroll] “World Financial Poetry”.

Episode 4 of “World Financial Poetry” will enchant you with it’s intriguing blend of ethnic Afro-Hungarian roots. I’m speaking, of course, of the early swing lyrics of the Federal Reserve Chairman that KNEW how to lead!

Tune in tomorrow, when “World Financial Poetry” will whisk you away to the sultry sounds of  Alan – The Early Years.

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NOTE:

IF this is the FIRST time that you have downloaded a podcast of The Poetry Channel’s “World Financial Poetry”, you may want to acquaint yourself with TPC affiliates’ other fine offerings.

Consider, if you will, “The History Lesson”, offered by The Exam Channel.

“The History Lesson”  podcast provides you with a breathtaking tour of more than 400 years of world economic history, as it explores the exciting world of toasters, guns, butter, and everyone’s favorite tool, The Hammer.

Thank you for your time and interest.

If you’d like to learn even more about me, you’ll find it here.

Till next time - Ira Artman

* PS:  Thanks to Joshua Artman for suggesting the first and third lines of “The Hammer” haiku. Unfortunately, TPC’s Practices and Standards Committee objected to his original language. That language has been unilaterally modified to the phrase that appears above. The somewhat more respectful tone of the new third line does, however, retain original meter and rhyme of Joshua Artman’s original suggestion. His parents should be ashamed of themselves.